During her three seasons on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we saw Teddi Mellencamp in her fair share of arguments and confrontations. But nothing could prepare her for the monumental battle she’s facing now. “I’m fighting for my life,” she tells Us Weekly, “But also for my family’s life and all the people I love.”
In February, five years after leaving the reality show, the daughter of beloved singer-songwriter John Mellencamp revealed a devastating diagnosis. Dealing with melanoma on and off since 2022, the Bravo alum, 43, got the news that she had stage 4 melanoma, and it metastasized to her lungs and brain.
Just three months earlier, the successful podcaster and lifestyle and fitness company owner had announced her separation from her husband of 13 years, Edwin Arroyave, 47. (The pair share three children, daughters Slate, 12, and Dove, 5, and son Cruz, 10, as well as Arroyave’s daughter Isabella, 16, from a previous relationship.) Putting their differences — and legal proceedings — aside, he immediately stepped up to support her as she undergoes taxing medical treatment while still caring for her young family.
Housewives viewers will remember Mellencamp’s catchphrase on the show whenever her kids were upset that she had to leave them for work or a night out, the now especially poignant “Moms always come back.” Now, Mellencamp admits, “I have not said that line to them since I’ve been back [from the hospital]. They all know that I’m fighting the hardest I possibly can, but I haven’t said [it] because I don’t want to lie to them. And I don’t know.”
Facing the most profound challenge imaginable with grace and a little dark humor, Mellencamp still describes herself as “lucky.” Meeting Us on the morning of March 24 at the 1 Hotel West Hollywood, the star sported grey Alo sweats and a white tank and tuned into a true-crime podcast as she prepared for the cover shoot, complete with her new pixie cut. “Ugh, I’m so over it already,” she quipped after a compliment on her hair. “But Cruz made it a little better because he said, ‘Mom, we can get all the same haircuts.’”
Throughout the day, Mellencamp was in great spirits, cracking jokes (yes, even about divorce and cancer) and talking all things Housewives. While she mentioned her energy levels were declining due to treatment — the RHOBH alum had been undergoing radiation and immunotherapy — she stayed upbeat and seemed to be making the most of a daunting situation.
Sadly, just two days later, she received the heartbreaking news on March 26 that four additional small tumors had been found on her brain during an emergency MRI. But if one thing is clear from our convo with Mellencamp, she’s giving this everything she’s got. Here, the podcaster goes deep about how she’s coping, where she stands with estranged husband Arroyave and about the Housewives who have (and haven’t) been there for her.
How are you feeling today?
I’m listening to my body, but also staying active and doing things that I love because when I do too much laying [around], I get pretty sad. On the days I’m feeling low, I can get really emotional, and if I’m open with the people in my life, then I have an easier time resting. When I try to pretend I’m OK and resting, it’s hard for me.
Take Us back on your medical journey. What were the symptoms that made you seek medical help earlier this year?
I was having migraines, and taking medication didn’t help. I was shaking and feeling crazy. Then one day, I was like, something is really wrong. I couldn’t see. Edwin took me to the emergency room in Tarzana; the pain had become something I’d never felt before. They diagnosed me with multiple brain tumors, but the [ER doctor] says he can’t take them out; they’ve got to get me into Cedars-Sinai [hospital]. And I’m like, “Can’t you get me in tonight? I want to go tonight.” I had six brain tumors and two lung tumors; they all came from melanoma that metastasized into these tumors inside of my body.
What happened next?
We call Kyle [Richards], and we’re like, “How do we get into Cedars?” And she called around and found a way for us to get in. Kyle saved the day. I believe it was within 24 hours that an incredible surgeon was able to remove four tumors from my brain. I didn’t know they had been there for six months to a year, and we had no idea.
You started radiation and immunotherapy. That must also take a huge toll on your body.
I thought I was going to feel like how I felt after my neck lift. [Laughs] My reaction is always a headache, and I found out that’s good news because it means that the immunotherapy or the radiation is killing your cancer.
What’s next after this course of treatment?
I find out for sure exactly where we stand on June 1. If you need to do another round, if there’s any other surgery, if it’s the end. It’s a hard pill to swallow. [Mellencamp’s treatment plan has since changed after the new tumors were discovered on March 25.]
It’s got to be extremely difficult to think about the end.
Well, a little PSA: Get life insurance early… and do your will. Doing all of those things once you’ve already been diagnosed with cancer isn’t a dream. That’s really hard. Hopefully you never get sick, but do it before you get sick.
Is this the most challenging battle you’ve been through?
This is definitely the hardest thing [I’ve faced in my life], but now it feels less hard. When I was in the ICU, it was incredibly difficult because I had no memory. One day, I realized it was my daughter’s birthday, and I couldn’t be there for it; it was really sad. It’s still sad when I can’t be there for my kids the way I’d normally be.
What do you remember about being in the hospital?
My dad came, all my siblings, friends from all over the country. Edwin was on a mission to make sure every single person I love and care about came to visit me. I don’t remember one person. I remember things that annoyed me, like when they put the drain in my brain. [Laughs]
It’s amazing you can laugh about it!
Well, I’m so lucky. Even though I was kind of annoyed so many people were there, I’m happy now because of the memories they’ve shared. They say, “Sometimes you seemed like you were totally with it, and sometimes you were a hot mess express. One day, you were certain that Heath Ledger was stalking you at night.” [Laughs] I was like, “He’ll be here tonight. Stay late.”
How did you feel when you shaved your head?
I don’t think I cared that much. Something that hit me really hard was the first time I went to work out: I’m sitting there bald, my entire body looked completely different because [of the] steroids. I tried to run, and I couldn’t. That was pretty devastating to me. I was at Barry’s Bootcamp, crying. The poor [instructor is] looking at me like, “You good?”
Has your perspective on how you look changed?
It depends. There are some days [where] I think you’re allowed to say, “I don’t feel confident right now, I feel very uncomfortable and I want to wear a wig.” And there are some days that I’m like, “It is what it is.” Some days, I’m really sad and really scared, and some days, I’m like, “I got this; I’m not worried.”
Facing your mortality must be so hard.
Everybody wants me to be super positive all the time. One of my coping mechanisms is being sarcastic. I’d rather joke about it and have the best possible outcome than be completely in denial and have my heart broken.
How do you try to stay positive?
Planning things I look forward to. A lot of people — not doctors, strangers on the internet — said [I] shouldn’t be riding, but it’s one of the things I love doing with my daughter. And I’m really lucky that Edwin, who I was in the middle of a divorce from, we put everything on hold. [It] wasn’t really the time to be fighting over emails. He’s been extremely kind and helping with the kids. That’s made things a lot easier.
Are you living under the same roof?
Yes, I’m in the primary, and he’s in one of the guest rooms. It’s fun. It’s all the things that I loved about our marriage but without all the problems.
Sounds like you and Edwin are in a good place.
I’m so glad because it was so bad for a while. I was like, “How did this happen to me and my best friend of 16 years?” We’ve always made each other laugh. We always pushed each other’s buttons, and [that made] it fun. And us not being able to have that for a long time was really sad and hard. If any part of this was for a reason, the second that I got sick, he completely changed. It’s a silver lining. He’s been there for me a hundred percent, he’s been there for the kids, and we’re back to laughing. We call it the “Divorce Chronicles.” And I want to talk [to him] about the kind of girls [he’s] going to marry… because if these people are going to take care of my kids, this is what I want, and this is the definition of what I don’t want.
Does he get to pick the next partner for you as well?
Sure. But I’m not going to listen.
Can you tell Us what led to the separation in the first place?
I think we didn’t communicate exactly what we needed. When that happens over time, you start to lose what you were happiest with.
How are you managing your kids’ well-being?
I’m paying for therapy. [Laughs] I’m not equipped to fully handle this… It is helping because they ask me questions that I probably wouldn’t have thought to give them answers to.
Do they realize the full extent of your health battle?
They realize when I’m in pain and how massive the surgery was. I don’t know that they know the rest. I think they’re a bit scared. I’m going to fight really hard. I can’t imagine my life without them, so I’m going to do everything I possibly can, no matter how mean it makes me. [Laughs] I can’t imagine — does this sound like a narcissist? — I can’t imagine any of them living without me.
How did you tell your dad you were ill?
It happened between Edwin and my dad, not me. I was not expecting my entire family to be out here within 24 hours, but by the time I was out of surgery, everybody was there. My dad hates L.A., so the fact that he was out here for 18 days — wow. That says a lot.
Kaitlyn Morris/Getty Images Teddi Mellencamp shared a somber message about her health after suffering “severe and debilitating headaches” for weeks. “Yesterday the pain was unbearable and required hospitalization,” Mellencamp, 43, wrote via Instagram on Wednesday, February 12. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum explained that after getting a CT scan and an MRI, “Doctors […]
Has this brought you two closer?
He calls every day to check on me. Some days, I’m not in the mood, I don’t want a pep talk. [I tell him], “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, I’ll be more pep talk-ready, but I love you.”
What kind of advice has he given you?
The wild thing was my dad had a heart attack when he was 36 and had three years where he wasn’t in the business anymore. I remember his life completely changing. And some of the moments [when] I felt really scared, I was like, “Hold on. I’m not changing everything about my life. I want more things. I want to keep building.” But he’s like, “There are moments where you emotionally won’t be able to control how you’re feeling because of a certain medication or a certain whatever. And you have to give yourself some grace and know this isn’t you sometimes. And that’s OK.”
So many people have rallied around you. Is there anyone you haven’t heard from?
Garcelle [Beauvais] has not reached out. Dorit [Kemsley] has now. I’m good friends with Erika [Jayne], so she said, “Dorit does want to reach out to you now, can she?” I [said], “don’t know how quick I’ll be to forgive, but sure.” But then her message was so nice that I have to say we’ll probably be fine.
Any other Housewives?
Kyle has been there nonstop. My favorite part about Vicki [Gunvalson] reaching out is she sent a Housewives coloring book that I’m not in. [Laughs] Denise [Richards] reached out, which was also a little bit of a shocker.
You’ve been dating again. How are you meeting these guys?
On Hinge. Excuse me, Raya, why am I still on the waitlist? I have five referrals! I realize that maybe I’m slightly controversial, but I’d appreciate you letting me in ’cause I’ve seen some of the other people [on there] and they seem like even bigger trainwrecks than me. [Laughs]
So tell Us about the Hinge dates.
There’s only been two guys I’ve actually gone on dates with. The first one asked me if I wanted to have more kids, and I was like, “I’m in the hospital. This isn’t really the right time, bud. I have a head wrap on. I just learned my own birth date.” But the other guy is super nice, super sweet, kind — exactly what I need right now.
What are you looking forward to after treatment?
Just the regular stuff, back to normal. I want to try new things, travel more with the kids, keep building a life and doing the best that we can, and have fun together. That’s my goal.
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